Lost In Translation: A Celebration of Sun & Jin
by LostInLost18
Summary: A collection of one-shots, drabbles and vignettes for Sun and Jin. Chapter 10 - "She swallows back a broken sob for everything she's lost, everything she's about to lose, and for everyone who is about to lose her..."
1. One More Look, and I Forget Everything

**Lost In Translation**

**A Celebration of Sun & Jin**

_#1 _

_One more look and I forget everything_

She gazes over at him, then stares at the clock.

Eleven fifteen it reads. She knows if she wants to make a break for it, start anew, then this is her moment. She can turn and walk out of the airport, get into a car, and drive off without looking back.

She moves to go, unable to help looking back at him one last time. She doesn't know what she's searching for, whether it's for a trace of the man she fell in love with or just a sign that maybe she's making a hasty mistake.

It's almost like her heart wants to find a reason for her to stay.

Tears run down her face and she can feel it when he gazes at her, his eyes speculative and his jaw set. His expression, however, is kind, and she knows she's hesitating and, as her father had taught her, if you hesitate with something, odds are you won't end up doing it. Her eyes tighten at the thought of her father and she edges towards the door again, infinitesimally so that he won't spot what she's doing.

_God help me now._ _Give me a reason to stay._

He slides a flower into view and suddenly she freezes, the tears pouring down her olive skin, and she knows she won't leave. She can't leave. She's seen proof that the man she fell in love with is still there, reaching out to her, and she can't ignore it, she can't ignore _him._ She only wanted to walk away because she'd been so sure her father had taken her husband and moulded him into something close to a monster, someone who would do inexplicably cruel things for no properly explained reason.

She looks at him – I mean really _looks_ at him – and falls for him all over again. _Remember when all you had to give me was a flower?_ He clearly remembers that conversation and has taken it to heart.

She'd never wanted a diamond from him – only proof that he would always love her. They'd been growing apart recently, and now he's effectively extending her an olive branch. Is she foolish to accept it? Is she foolish to think he can change? Is it ever too late to fix something?

She knows she can fool her own heart sometimes, mostly by pretending she can just walk away from him, but she knows her heart can't fool her. She knows she loves him, and that walking away now solves effectively nothing. She'll leave here with a broken heart, something which will resemble an empty shell. She'll be lifeless because even when he made her furious, she still felt that flicker of passion which proved she cared, even when she was making a point of pretending she didn't.

Like she's being magnetically drawn to him, she finds herself by his side once again, accepting the flower and feeling more lost than ever. Should she lean into what effectively has become a one sided relationship? Should she fight? She can't decide what the right thing to do here is.

When he leans his head against hers, she stares at the waiting car outside and realises there is no right or wrong thing to do. He rescued her from a lonely life, a life filled with meaningless dinners with people her parents were desperate for her to marry and an endless chain of social events her father dragged her to. She feels like she needs to rescue him from the same fate.

Every time he looks at her, she forgets what he's supposedly done. She knows they're supposed to be together; it's how they keep finding their way back to each other. The fact she's here, rather than sitting in some car and driving off into the distance, shows that he's extremely hard to walk away from.

She'll always come back to him. He's her lighthouse in the bay, always guiding her safely home whenever she drifts too far.

So, to that effect, she'll wait for him.

Always.


	2. Hands, Touching Hands, Reaching Out

_#2 _

_Hands touching hands, reaching out _

It starts, and ends, with the touching of hands.

She walks forwards, her mind elsewhere and her eyes bearing a far away look, and barely notices anything other than the fact she's moving. She has the old fantasy again, of finding love which hasn't been pre-signed for and sent to her courtesy of her father. She also dreams of eloping to America, some strapping young man on her arm, although maybe she's read one too many of her mother's romance novels…

All of a sudden, she stumbles forwards, her hands interlocking with a stranger's for a brief moment, her mind barely registering the fact the contents of her bag lie scattered on the ground like debris.

She glances into the face of a stranger, but he's handsome and endearingly nervous. He utters apology after apology to her…and she finds she doesn't care. Her hands are still in his, and they interlock frequently as they both pick up the items which she'd temporarily forgotten. Her hands never leave his.

It feels comforting, somehow.

And when he smiles nervously at her, she smiles back, and it's almost like the world dissolves, leaving just the two of them there. Their hands drop to their sides, and they're almost like children, not knowing what to do next, what to say even. He shyly edges forwards, lifts up her hands and lifts it to his lips, somehow relishing the slightest of contact he may have with her.

She doesn't object, of course.

As a matter of fact, she lets him hold it the entire way as he graciously walks her back to her house.

X-X-X

The water gushes in and she stares around blankly, unable to believe this is where it all ends, where her life will end.

He remains faithful to her until the end, and she kisses his lips. She holds him tightly, silently praying he'll tell her he's going to go back for their daughter. She knows it's too late for her but he has a shot at making it. He can survive, go home and see the beautiful daughter he helped create. He can have a life without her.

But he stays, and she cries because of it. She cries because she's lucky to have fallen in love and married such a wonderful man. She cries because he refuses to let her die alone, and is determined to stay with her. She cries because she doesn't want him to die as well.

The kiss deepens, mostly because they know it's their last. She is the one to break it off and, almost simultaneously, they reach for each other's hand. The water level rises, but her hand remains glued to his. She won't let go, not willingly anyway, and she gazes into his eyes, with love radiating out of her like light from a torch, always finding the right place to shine on.

Their hands remain connected, even as the bodies shake with the pressure of the water. They don't drop, even as her eyes close and his body stiffens. His name lingers on his lips, and hers lingers on his. Their hands slowly drift apart, because there are some forces of nature you can't fight.

Their fingertips touch briefly, almost for one last time, and then they surrender to death, both of them dying with soft smiles on their faces for the life and love they'd shared. It isn't such a bad way to go, dying with the one you love.

It began with, and ended with, the touching of hands, but it was bound with love. Pure, undeniable, unshakeable, untouchable _love._

The perfect package.


	3. It's A Shame The Root of It's Me

_#3_

_A beautiful tree, it's a shame that the root of it's me. _

He stares at her and sometimes wonders why she stays with him.

She's radiant, clearly; her ebony hair spills down her back like raindrops against glass. Her eyes are so…sincere. Truth clings to them like reality to dreams, and sometimes vice versa. She's…pure, not quite free of sin because, like him, she's dabbled in lies and deceit, but she's the sun to his moon, the day to his night.

They fit together, but he feels sometimes he's the misshapen piece, the piece you kind of cram in just to see if it looks right and, if it does, you leave it there because you don't want to ruin it with a piece which might look better suited.

But he loves her all the same, and she loves him with an intensity he'll never quite understand.

Some people might call what they have 'fate' or 'destiny', like it's all been pre-planned.

He calls it luck. Simply luck.

He remembers describing love as 'orange'. But it's not.

Love is yellow, bright yellow. A colour so bright it demolishes all others, a colour you could notice anywhere, amongst anything. Yellow like the sun.

Like Sun.


	4. So Many Reasons Why

_#4_

_There's so much I need to say to you, so many reasons why_

He grips her hand tight, watches her sob quietly, overwhelmed by it all.

They have seconds, minutes at a push, and he wants to sum up their marriage, their love, their entire lives in enough words which, when put together, vaguely resemble his best efforts at a goodbye.

But he can't - they've been through too much.

He wants to explain to her properly why he's not letting her die alone, why it breaks his heart to even contemplate making a break for it, why he's chosen her over his own daughter (_who, let's face facts, is just a stranger to him, a mere dream at this point._) but it's too damn hard. _They've not enough time._

They've never had enough time.

"I love you, Jin."

"I love you, Sun."

And, somehow, that's enough.

It's always been enough.


	5. Try to Walk Away, I Tumble

_#5_

_Try to walk away, I stumble_

I Try - Macy Gray

"Hey, Sun."

The oddly cheerful ring to her voice; the childish beam on her face; the careless swagger of her walk. These are not the actions normally associated with someone who's lost everything.

She remembers what it was like, remembers what that dark place was like, when all she could do was crawl, not walk, because nothing seemed to be worth her standing up on two knees. She's barely getting by now, and only thoughts of seeing her husband again keeps her afloat.

"Hey, Claire," she replies cautiously, wondering where this is going.

She tries to search for any remnants of the old Claire, the person who, if in control, would not be swaggering, or smiling, or showing any kind of emotion but determination. She finds none, only the Claire which this faceless monster has engulfed.

The younger woman doesn't even say much else; just that it's good to see her again. The detachment in her voice, though disguised, hurts her slightly. It's like they're strangers, like they've basically never had a connection, a friendship, and she wonders whether she really remembers it all, or whether she's just being fed memories to her like fruit into a blender.

She fingers the ring in her pocket, the ring she'd intended to give to her. She knows her husband's ring gave her hope, some kind of peace, and she'd intended to give Claire the same olive branch, the same signal that maybe everything would turn out ok, that she didn't have to be buried in the darkness anymore.

She doesn't give it to her, in the end.

She knows the owner of that ring wouldn't have wanted her to be reminded of the pain she's suffered, the grief she's endured, the endless days, weeks, months of loneliness she's had to face.

So, she figures oblivion works for Claire.

And, in a way, she's almost envious.

_How can she shut it out and I couldn't?_

**A/n: Not really Sun/Jin, but this was just in my mind. Set in season six this little piece so enjoy! Thanks for reviewing! **


	6. Just a Few More Hours And I'll Be Home

_#6 _

_Just a few more hours and I'll be home to you_

Beth - Kiss

He takes the camera with trembling hands and, ever so nervously, he turns it on, not entirely sure what to expect.

Within moments, his breath has been utterly stolen away.

On the screen is this beautiful little girl, with dark hair and dark eyes, staring up at the screen with eyes as bright as the sun. He stares in awe, unable to believe what his heart is telling him, unable to fathom that this little treasure is _his _daughter.

He yearns to be a part of that photograph, to be a part of her life. And it's unfair he's locked in a war which shouldn't, by rights, be his to fight.

He skips through the next few photos until he spots Sun, who's holding Ji Yeon and smiling widely. He knows that smile - he's missed that smile.

And he knows if he wants that life, the life with his daughter and wife away from this goddamn island, he's going to have to fight for it - with all his heart and soul.

And somehow he knows Sun is nearby, holding on to the same dream, the same hope, and that gives him all the comfort he needs. For now, at least.


	7. Smile, Though Your Heart Is Aching

_# 7_

_Smile, though your heart is aching  
_Smile – Nat King Cole

Christmas, really, is all about her daughter.

She watches her daughter's tiny hands explore the presents, a wide smile emerging when she realizes these are for her, and she knows he should be here too. Today shouldn't be about going at it alone.

Her daughter turns around to beam at her, and she can see his features shine through, giving her a strange kind of strength. _(She's not as alone as she thinks.) _And, in return, she manages to present a wobbly smile. _(She's trying.)_

It's funny how something that once meant the world to you can change.

Christmas once was a time of promise, a time for the birth of new dreams, new horizons. Now, all it is, all it will ever mean to her, is the solitary and solemn process of packing away every dream she ever had, every moment she ever built, and watching them scatter away into nonexistence, like the year she's spent missing him.

Christmas now is as empty as her smile.


	8. I'm Not a Stranger No I Am Yours

_#8  
__I'm not a stranger. No, I am yours  
_Cut - Plumb.

They pass wordlessly by each other, the tension as thick as steel. Her resolve crumbles bit by bit each day, falling into the ocean of despair she's trying not to drown in. He doesn't even look at her as he passes by yet his betrayed look remains constantly intact, unbroken by time.

The more time that passes, the more like strangers they become. She finds excuses to cut across his path _(having memorised his daily routine without her)_ just to try and evoke a reaction. He never takes the bait, even when she actually grabs his hand and chokes out broken sentences in Korean, something meaningful. If anything, it makes him angrier, more determined to ignore her.

She can't see what her crime was. She kept a secret from him; he kept hundreds from her. She built herself up for a new life, whilst he was single-handedly _(admittedly involuntarily) _destroying the one they'd built together. And she only hid a skill from him, something she was only planning to use to boost herself into a new life; he hid an entire side of himself from her, a side as destructive and violent as a bomb, only the damage would be done to himself, rather than the rest of the world.

They've committed the same crime against each other, yet she's the one bearing the brunt. And she wants to hate him for it, only she can't. Absence surely makes the heart grow fonder, yet the danger there is that prolonged distance can make the heart forget what love even is. She's protected her own heart for so long, keeping it from getting hurt; and now it's experienced this huge gaping pain, she's beginning to remember why she'd protected it in the first place.

But there's a sweet moment where his eyes meet hers. Her heart weakly beats into life again. His lips almost turn into a smile _(before he remembers himself) _and it seems like they are making progress. And even when he turns away, she makes a promise herself to keep fighting for them.

And it's that promise which inspires her to make the book of translations for him.

And it's that promise which gives her the courage to walk towards him, ignoring the flash of distance in his eyes, as she presses the book in his hands.

And it's that promise which wins him back.


	9. Love Just Took Me By Surprise

_#9_

_Love just took me by surprise, looking through your eyes  
_Looking Through Your Eyes – LeAnn Rimes.

It starts with endless stares. Stares which seem to start out as shy glances, only being exchanged at exactly the right moment to avoid being caught, before swiftly evolving into stares accompanied with small smiles.

As he takes the time and effort to swarm into her busy – and often isolated – world, she takes the time to study him, wondering how each little motion he makes – from the careful slide past her, their shoulders brushing _ever_ so slightly, to the slow wave of his hand as he passes by, quickly disguised as a simple brushing motion through his hair – has the ability to just disarm her, forcing a slow smile to sweep into view, a gesture her mother is quick to interpret as enthusiasm for the tedious party she's been forced to sit through, and, just like that, she is swept away, although her eyes remain locked to his.

It becomes a habit that at the end of the party, when all the chairs and tables are tucked away _(ready for the next tedious event)_ they find each other, and, exchanging shy, almost childish laughter, their hands interlock, their bodies retreating into the darkness, away from the lights _(and the eyes still watching), _their lips pressing together once – a sweet, chaste kiss confirming what they both know is growing rapidly every day – before they release, share a tender smile, and then wrap their arms slowly around each other.

She laments their secret relationship, keeps trying to persuade him to elope but he's an honourable man, who'll always insist on doing the right thing. That, based on her experiences so far, isn't a surprise.

What _is_ a surprise is how her heart seems to explode at the very sight of him, how hearing the lulling sounds of his heart beating _(for her)_ can send her into a quiet frenzy, how she spends the rare nights they get together _(just for each other)_ simply just running her fingers up and down his chest, reflecting on the bittersweet aspects of their relationship. It surprises her how often she actually thinks about him, even when she doesn't even realize it. She can certainly recall times when she'd thought she'd been oblivious to the entire world – that's how her mother certainly calls her vacant stares, and heavy sighs – but really had been dreaming of a quiet life where they could both just discard the heavy burdens of their pasts, and allow themselves to build a paradise of a future together.

Even now, along the silver path laid bare for them by the moon, resting in his arms, his chin resting on top of her head, her face pressing against his chest, she envisions a world where they don't have to run, don't have to pretend – keeping one part of themselves hidden away from the rest of the world.

In his eyes, she sees that world, _thrives_ in that world.

And yet even in the depths of this secret passion they've created, she can't help but feel almost glad that every moment they've stolen has had to be so secret.

It makes the love she feels gradually blossoming in the chasms of her fiery heart that much _real._ And the fact that this love completely came out of nowhere, born out of a moment's clumsiness, a moment's _distraction_, solidifies the intensity.

She never wants to let it go.


	10. You're Here, There's Nothing I Fear

_#10_

_You're here, there's nothing I fear  
_My Heart Will Go On – Celine Dion

The water level rises above her chin.

It won't be long before she's completely submerged.

Fear takes hold of her, for only a second – she vaguely recalls a story Kate once told her about fear, but that, like everything else, seems to belong to the past – and she swallows back a broken sob for everything she's lost, everything she's about to lose, and for everyone who is about to lose her.

Like a calm wind tempering a frantic ocean, his hands make contact with her, and it temporarily keeps the fear at bay.

The goodbyes and 'I love yous' long passed between them, she keeps her chin raised, trying to inhale as much air as she possibly can _(like it'll make a difference)_, her mind floating between two different lives – the one she has now, and the one she left long ago.

She wonders whether if she'd taken a completely different course, she would've still ended up here, nearly submerged in the depths of a too quiet submarine. She doesn't cry, even though there's a swelling in the back of her throat.

She wouldn't be able to discern the tears from the ocean anyway.

The water reaches past her chin, covering her mouth.

Jin's hands never leave hers.

Briefly, she recalls the words of a Korean poem – the title escapes her – and she murmurs the words now, even as the water rises higher and higher. It's a kind of mantra, keeping the fear at bay, reminding her she doesn't really have anything to be afraid of anymore.

Peace awaits.

"_We know not where we go…"_

Now, the process of drowning begins, as her chest tightens, her body finally realizing its access for oxygen is slowly being restricted. Naturally, it resists, starts to fidget restlessly, but she knows fighting this is like fighting fate, or destiny; something with an iron grip on its puppets,

"_Leaves blown, scattered, though fallen from the same tree, by the first winds of Autumn…"_

Jin has long since stopped moving, although she can still see his pupils darting about, his hands still gripping hers, the last constant in her life.

"_Ah, I will polish the path…"_

Their bodies react as one; unable to stay still, their bodies thrash, searching for air they can no longer obtain. It's a struggle which seems to mirror their short life together; the struggle to obtain something – freedom – which they can call their own, never having to fight to keep it.

She smiles, despite the pain taking over her body.

The cold numbs her body, takes away a fraction of the burning inside her lungs, but her eyes fall upon Jin, who has stopped wrestling, stopped moving altogether.

Her heart stops around about that same time, the frame of that last bittersweet line of that poem frozen on her lips. Her hand slides from his, her eyes closing for the last time, the last sounds consisting of her diminishing heartbeat.

"…_Until we meet in the Pure Land."_

* * *

**A/n: **Lines in italic are from a translated Korean poem 'Requiem for the Dead Sister' by Master Wôlmyông. I read it and just knew I had to apply it to a Sun & Jin drabble somehow. Thank you for the reviews!


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